Thank you so much for your response and point of view! I definitely believe that my boundaries over time kind of dwindled. When him and I first met, everything seemed so great he treated me amazingly so I excused a LOT of his behaviors because I couldn't believe this was him. He has been adamant about starting a family and I told him that he has to wait and he has to heal and change his behaviors. I told him that I am not going to raise a child witnessing toxic behaviors that he is displaying nor would I want my child to be affected or see me being triggered. He understands this. We are always super honest with his psychiatrist but I feel he used to hold back from his therapist because I would go to those appointments with him when he would ask me. We just had a meeting the end of this week and we both talked about how he has been acting and how I have been responding to his behaviors. I have my own individual therapist and psychiatrist as well as I have C-PTSD/ADHD/Depression. We are both trying to do some work on triggers and communicating with each other no matter how bad we want to let it go. His therapist said that he could start couples counseling with us once or twice a month, and my boyfriend actually said he felt really good about that and wanted to try. I am going to see how it goes but I told him flat out that I am going to be very firm with my boundaries so if it upset him I'm sorry but I'm not longer holding my tongue to save his feelings while I feel there is a disregard of mine. So far so good but we will see how it is when the next manic episode hits. Thank you so much for your feedback and advice. Honestly that is exactly worry about; codependency as I am a DV survivor, and raising a family. I am so sorry that you have been dealing with this for so long and I wish you all of the luck with enforcing your healthy boundaries. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job and working on healing and that is so admirable.