I start my new job tonight. I should be sleeping now to rest up for it but I can't seem to get adjusted to the schedule yet. I'm not really ready to work I don't feel -- I pushed myself to try to get a job because of a very poor interaction with someone who left me feeling so insecure and stupid for being in my position and like it's only my fault I suffer. I'm not 100% sure he's wrong, but I wanted to try to prove I was making a motion in the right direction for me -- and funnily enough? This apparently isn't the right decision in his eyes either, so I'm still being made to feel insecure and stupid. I really shouldn't say it that way-- i'm allowing this person in my life so it's just me allowing myself to be hurt.

Just wish me luck. I don't feel very stable these days.