@Matty5000, welcome to the Bipolar forum! I don't have insight into all of your experience, as I never had children. I have been married for a long time and had many relationships go sour or strained because of my bipolar disorder. I totally get how hard it is to have to apologize for being ill and how others tire of those apologies.

When I read your post, frankly what went through my mind is that you've been working hard and doing a fairly good job at the task, despite. It flat out isn't easy for us folks with bipolar disorder! When stress is involved (job, relationship, new stuff like a baby), that effort grows tougher. We must recognize our efforts. Those that love us must, too. If your wife isn't fully aware of that, it might be good to invite her to your therapy. She may actually have some concerns or needs that you do need to know about. Sometimes it's hard to communicate. Sometimes it's hard to find a middle ground. There are times when one has a heavier load for the family than another. Spouses need to work together, compromise, tolerate and communicate even without a third (or more) person involved. There sometimes needs to be a negotiation of what the "can gives" and cant's must be.