I like to reach out sometimes. I’m actually thinking of going somewhere to get therapy. The only thing was that their coverage of Medicare was not on the page. I did not want to call them. I felt insecure enough. Somewhere along the road I will come to understand that other people mean their statements benignly most of the time. There is no backhanded compliment and I can overcome my inner dementors. En lieu of self-compassion, I am giving myself a break to enjoy the moment instead of trying to live in the future. Finding myself, self-discovery, maybe I could find a lifestyle change. Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves here, I would just like to become a better me, not someone who wishes to become a totally different person — that is not anymore. I cannot live in the shadow of who I wish I could be.