Thanks Beth

I am on 120mg latuda, 2000mg depakote, 200mg bupropion, and 100mg modafinil (fights the brain fog from the other ones). I hadn't been so highly dosed on the latuda or depakote until last year. My mood has just been very resistant to the meds ever since this prolonged rough patch started a bit over a year ago. It's rare to feel normal, as I often fluctuate a little over the day or week, but then there are times like last night where I had a load of stressful emotions and family problems dumped on me and it triggered me. Then later in the evening I had one of my outbursts at my wife when it was really my problem to begin with. Luckily I think the latuda has helped (I had tried stepping down to 60 mg for a while and went back up as it seemed I needed it), as I am not feeling great, but not as bad as situations like this in the past, so hopefully I'll be better soon.

I am transitioning from latuda to lamotrigine, but that's a slow process I am still a ways from completing. I have always stayed compliant, and want to keep it that way, but when latuda is high enough dose to work, I feel pretty flat and medicated, so hopefully the lamotrigine will help with that.

I have been in therapy for close to 2 years, and my wife started about 8 months ago. It has helped me greatly in many ways, but it's like when my bipolar demon descends on me I just lose all control and I have yet to find a technique or anything to deal with that. It's like I get too close and fall into a black hole and before I know what's happened everything's gone sideways.

Stress and situations with high emotions seem to trigger my bipolar the most, and unfortunately those things are an unavoidable part of life, especially with children around... and my insane family...