update: I'm still on medical leave from my job. I am working with my pdoc on medications and I've been working with various practitioners to help with the voices I've been hearing. I aim to probably return to my job by April 4th, even if I am still symptomatic. State gov't aid won't be resolved until later in April, which is too late for me. Even if I weren't symptomatic, I cannot do this job. It is over my head, and I am under-qualified. It's like facing a mountain that is too steep and too many miles high to climb or hike and saying to yourself "no way can I do this". That's how I feel about my job.

Maybe that will change miraculously, and I hope it does. But if it doesn't, then likely I will be let go for underperforming, in which case, I can still collect unemployment benefits.

I applied for a different kind of job today, but I doubt I will hear back. I added my current job on my resume, with just the title, the company name and the timeframe in which I've been employed, with no additional details like the rest of my resume reads. That was stupid. It looks stupid to me. ARGH. So of course, I now highly doubt they will even consider me.

I'm very down. And my husband is having a very difficult time with my symptoms. He's carrying way too much stress between his own work stress, my problems, issues his mother is facing, losing his father not too long ago, and his concerns about a WW3.

I am trying to stay positive and hopeful that all of this will resolve.... somehow and miraculously.