That is what strikes me in what you write. She is not willing to be supportive empathetic or take your concerns seriously

1. She was quite unwilling to come to a mutual agreement about things
Exactly - everything has to be on *her* terms

2. The problem I have is that if I do leave to meet her my family wouldn't allow me home due to the risk of covid. She thinks this is ridiculous
Again, very dismissive of your concerns. This is a serious health crisis and she cannot respect your decision.

3. [...]after about a year of covid she wanted me to come back, I just haven't been able to due to lots of life problems. None of which are enough to justify it to her.
Total lack of empathy and emotional support. Your 'problems' don't matter as much as what she wants.

Again, she is very demanding and pretty controlling. It all has to be on *her* terms. I just see a lot of red flags.