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Originally Posted by SarahSweden
IIīve already asked for a new counselor but Iīm feeling bad over what happened in contact with this first counselor I met with. (...) This happened twice so I assume she didnīt like I rang the doorbell some minutes before the meeting started.
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Sounds like your depressive negative feelings make you take this personally when it's most likely not personal. Hopefully the therapy will help you learn how not to see little things so negatively.
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Inside was a waiting room with tea, coffee and so on so there was no reason for her to not let me in, I could easily sit there a few minutes and wait for her to get our from their staff room and into our counselling room.
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"There was no reason for her to"
Is a sweeping generalisation without enough information for you to jump to conclusions.
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At our third meeting I got there and then this counsellor thought our room we used the two other times was too hot as the sun shone right into it. Although she had had her lunch before our session and she had been in the locality several times before she started to look for another room just before our meeting should start. I sat in the waiting area and she went through a list of which rooms were booked and not. She could have prepared all this before our meeting instead of running around and see if she could find another room.
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Again a sweeping generalisation without enough information for you to.....
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Instead of greeting me and start our session with focus on me, the focus went to her searching for another room.
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Again your depressive negative feelings talking and making you take everything personally. This isn't about "focus".
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When we sat down in that other room I saw she couldnīt sit properly in the chair that belonged to that room and she also said at the end of our session that "those chairs werenīt for me". That is, she hadnīt prepared that either, that the room had a chair that she found comfortable to sit in.
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Why does that even need to bother you in the least? Why does everyone need to be so crazy well prepared all the time? Some people do not need to prepare for everything in detail and yet they can pull off things quite well. We are all different. Just learn to accept people with their little imperfections. Sometimes they are not even imperfections, simply differences in lifestyle, personality, ....
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I see this kind of behaviour rather often, counsellors acting unstructured and unprepared and like theyīre seeing you for coffee or a quick chat or something. I see there are a lot of unprofessional counselors and in Sweden many of them work just parttime with counselling and they donīt need to be licensed to do that.
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I wouldn't call this unprofessional. It's also up to personal preference. I would actually feel more relaxed if the counsellor was relaxed like that herself. Makes the atmosphere more natural or something.
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It works in a similar way within our public healthcare where they often hire counsellors who arenīt licensed and by that they donīt know or care about the importance of being well-prepared, to start the session on time, to remember what was said the last time and so on.
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You're not their only client, so it's totally forgivable and actually realistic if they don't remember every small detail.
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Even if Iīm not a counselor my common sense would tell me to look for a suitable room to use with my client well in advance before my client would show up. I would also count on that my client will possibly come to session some minutes before the sessions starts and I would be prepared to open the door when he/she rang the doorbell. That is, I wouldnīt start a phone call, make coffee, use the bathroom like five minutes before the session starts when I know thereīs a great chance/"risk" that my client will arrive.
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And my common sense would tell me to take care of these things whenever I can. Last minute or not. The client isn't required to arrive early! If I were a counsellor, I would not give my break time away like that. If I have to go to the toilet, then I have to go. Etc. The client who's early can wait outside, it won't hurt them.
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For those who like to critizise instead of showing understanding towards
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Yes, you certainly like to criticise.... Learn to relax more, and show understanding towards your counsellors.