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Troy said:
Max ... *tears & panic

Why do your kind words bring this reaction?...

"Since society does not have the awesome power of the forgiveness of the soul, they have no authority to judge me. That is something that is between me and the Highest Power, and no one else. I think Troy, that if you continue to seek reconciliation and peace as you showed us here today, then you will find it."

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Troy-
I apologize for not answering sooner, but I haven't been back to this forum in a few days.

Strong emotions are really a great thing. They remind us that the human spirit is very hard to kill, no matter what adverse circumstances we've experienced in our past. Your essay says something of the ability of the human soul to overcome any obstacle. That's powerful. You have depth like very few people I've ever seen before, and you have the guts to share it. You should join a VA PTSD group, as the veterans returning from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars could really use your experience. I don't usually recommend the VA, but many veterans have very little options when they return, and they could benefit from someone whose been in their shoes; I'd hate to leave them up to the less experienced VA employed psychology and psychiatry staff (shudder).

I should mention that no tears I ever shed, no despair I ever felt, and no panic attack that I ever experienced, ever came close to destroying me.

-MAX