Quote:
Originally Posted by FeelingLost78
The point I am trying to make is that we have been through all this stuff before. He did never mention we’re toxic, but we both have know. This for awhile. We end up running into each other later on, we talk, and it goes from there. I don’t know if it’s a serious breakup this time, it will tell. I do wonder why he didn’t even respond about the book. But even that will come in time, I guess.
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You are refusing to live in reality. You have been shown and told in many different ways by him that he doesn't want to deal with you. You are claiming this latest contact is about the book but really the book is a minor thing and you are trying to emotionally blackmail him into being with you. If he returns the book, great. If not, you'll have to deal with it. Stop contacting him. Using the old texting app to contact him because you're blocked everywhere else is weird and stalkerish. Stop doing that.
Imagine sitting there and hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. You wouldn't do that, right? Every time you contact him you are hitting yourself in the head with the hammer. Stop. Concentrate on a hobby, on work, on family, go for a walk, make a nice meal for yourself, etc. No contact = no new hurt.
Also - we know he is 41, but what is your age, if I might ask? The reaction you're having to this obvious disrespect makes me think you are significantly younger than he is?
You also might want to use your time to seek out counseling on how to cope with rejection by someone who doesn't suit you anyway. Find out why you want to be with someone who treats you so bad.