I went out to a few gas stations and I was wearing my Adidas pride hat but was dressed in tan Levis and my Hollister jacket. I didn't have any issue with the first 2. Then I went to a little shady one. It still had halloween candy At first the guy was fine. I think I even heard him call me "brother" but my mom was pestering him about cups and then when we got up to pay I couldnt tell if he glanced at my hat or down at my pants but he became crabby after that with us so I couldnt tell if he knew then but it just got me kind of down for about half an hour. My mom said he is just unfriendly in general. And I'm not 100% sure he knew or not. Maybe he was just mad at my mom about the cups. But if I'm wearing a hat like that then I guess its also on me for sort of putting myself out there. I just worry the longer I'm off my meds. My mom said to wait until I get my next blood test results before I contact my endocronolgist about going back on them. I go for my blood work Thursday so I should have the results possibly Friday afternoon but I probably won't get an answer from my blood doctor about anything until Monday. At this point all I can really do is just keep with my weight loss and eating less and control my worrying about things that arent in my control. The controlling my worrying is the one I'm mainly struggling with.

At the doctors on Monday the nurse asked me if I felt depressed, down, or hopeless these last 2 weeks and I said yeah. I mean who hasn't felt like that even someone without mental illness? Probably why she didn't make a fuss out of it. I often lie on that one and say no.