Thanks. Yes, I completely agree on what you write about my way of interacting with a therapist is similar to how I interact with anyone else. One of the first things I told this counselor was that I react strongly to things like the therapist being like ten minutes late and I also told her that this pattern is similar to how I react outside the therapy room.
I didn´t get an understanding about that, she didn´t seem to get what I meant and she surely didn´t go along and wanted to examine such a thing. This depends on, once again, that this counselor and several others I´ve seen, has just a basic knowledge about therapy. They aren´t educated in how to examine "the why" behind a client´s actions, at least not beyond the client´s own explanation. That is, I told her I feel ignored and unimportant but she didn´t proceed any discussion about those thoughts.
So it´s not simply a question of contempt on my side but a feeling of unsafety, of not being important enough to meet a therapist who is fully prepared to see me and so on.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
Agree. It’s a choice. Therapy can be both a unique context and one in which our ways of interacting with the world come into focus. It’s the idea that how you do anything is how you do everything. (The idea is simplistic and reductionist but can still be useful: when an issue develops with a therapist, it’s likely not the only place that issue is coming up.)
If the way we interact with our world and everyone in it brings us so much misery (a thing Sarah has said often) it’s worth examining in the safety of therapy.
You don’t owe the counsellor anything and it sure would be nice to have access to a competent professional who was ready to see you on time in the right room. But oh my goodness if you have that much contempt for everyone’s imperfections (including your own) of course it gets in the way of having the kind of connections that make life feel fuller and happier.
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