So... how do the rest of you cope with sleeping???

I take meds.. that knock me out... but I find as the time gets closer.. to having to go to bed.. I just want to put it off.. stay up for days at a time... not take the meds...

dread... dread.. and more dread sets in... the nightly struggle I call it.. I watch the clock... 11:00.... 12:00... 1:00... and then.. I put my foot down.. and swallow the meds... have made it a rule (alters)....

if I don't sleep... I don't have the nightmares... seems like a good deal to me...but then it catches up.. the lack of sleep.. and I have gotten to the point of hallucinations...

and.. I refuse to drive.. if I don't sleep... cause... it isn't safe...

the rest of my life like this... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. the choice.. sleep = nightmare.. no sleep = getting sick....

I have never... ever.. to my knowledge had a night without severe nightmares.. cause I have had them since I was tiny..

I wonder.. what it is like to just sleep.. and dream??? I asked my son.. and best friend... and they just dream... some... and they think my question is so "odd"....

yes, I know as my best friend pointed out.. I am lucky I can sleep with meds.. it could be much worse..

but.. I think tonight.. just tonight.. I am going to stay up... I dread sleep too much...I will sleep tomorrow night cause Tues is therapy day...