Dear Aviza, I feel this way, too. My main problem is the voices. They are horribly cruel, & the noises. I'm so exhausted, physically & emotionally. But I keep believing that things will be better later on. And I want to be here to see that. I'm crying while I write this, because I'm hurting & struggling at this moment & at the same time I'm remembering you have been through so much & you keep trying, so I understand it's just too hard. But try to see that light ahead & do what ever you can to hold on so you can enjoy your new life when this bad time is over with. Hugs & love to you, dear Aviza!