I had a rough and depressing day. I had to meet up with a lawyer to work on my wife's stuff then I had to go to the corners office to request her autopsy report and toxicology report. That was real hard I am surprised that I was able to make it in there. I waited till I got in my truck to cry. I still wake up hoping it was all a nightmare but it's not. I am more depressed the last 3 or 4 weeks compared to the month before but I think I was just numb those days. Reality really set in when I had that death certificate in my hand. I did read it but that took a few days before I could look at it. I really hate this and u don't wish this on my worst enemy. Thank you everyone in here your support means the world to me.

My little dog has not been feeling good since last week. I don't know how long he will it make cause he has a heart condition and it is getting worse. My other dog is like 15 and blind and if I am not home she has panic attacks and will go hide in my bath tub cause the noises she hears scares her. I will probably have to put her down soon. Boy when it rains it pours. I don't know if I can handle this but I will give it my best shot.

I really want a cigarette but I have not smoked since Dec.18th and I won't start again cause it was really hard to quit this time. I'm ready to run away.
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