I don't want to try anymore. It's obviously not enough. I Just want to sit and cry but tears wont come. I'm starting to think I was a horrible person from the get go. There's no way to make amends for destroying people's lifes. I was a good mom though. that's something it don't seem to matter now. He's grown. I want to be a good person but it's hard. I don't think I've ever thought I was a horrible person, until now. I guess I'm going to bed.