I want to post an update....I've tried to practice this stuff, really going through the very strong negative emotions while keeping my prefrontal cortex online too and just believing that their extremely strongly negative "messages" aren't about the current situation. This seems like a prerequisite for me to be able to do all this, to go through the negative emotions rather than flinch away from them.

Like, I've ended up seeing some negative core belief that formed after some bad experiences a few years back, while believing and trusting my own judgment that these negative emotions and such core beliefs are not about the actual reality here and now. Or more like, I ended up seeing the opposite of it (positive and realistic core belief) and then I was able to take the negative emotions.

I don't know how much of it's actually mindfulness. I didn't end up suspending my default judgment and emotional control, I actively utilise those. Utilising those ensures I have enough distance even while the emotions are intense. I've stopped trying to just feel things like I was told to feel before, and so I'm okay with keeping "cold judgment" and emotional control instead, yet not trying to ignore or dismiss the emotional stuff for now.

What it really feels like, it feels like a kind of exposure therapy. Since I stopped avoiding some of it and I try to go through it all rather than ignore or dismiss immediately. The bodily sensations can be extreme too, it literally hurting here and there, but I'm able to deal with that too now after much observation on how they are not dangerous (hopefully). I do all this while trying to focus on work or other tasks, because the way I am, being passive doesn't ensure enough arousal to have the emotions coming out like this.

Since it's so extreme, for now I do have to add little breaks. I hope the intensity will decrease. These are 10/9-9.5 or even 10/10 intensity for a short time.

Does anyone else have luck with doing all this this way?

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Where I still have misgivings is, but it seems like I'm forced to do this anyway, the emotions are already there anyway, no running from them, right? But I want to be sure I'm not just stuck in the past by letting myself go through them, either. Don't want my brain to get used to feeling negative, either, like strengthening neural connections for that, or whatever.

And I do not want to lose myself again like I did before when trying to feel too much. For me it's just not natural to just simply be totally inside the feeling or emotion. I think it's probably true that I have to deal with these negative emotions by breaking them down analytically keeping that prefrontal cortex online.

Like, that's the way for me to go through them. Otherwise it just seems to come back right away and I don't feel I actually went through it properly.

I think that's most decidedly not mindfulness and not even exposure therapy for that part. It's probably most similar to CBT if I'd want to call it a therapy approach. Though probably not the exact same as CBT

But yeah I mean, with mindfulness my biggest misgiving was always that, okay, I somehow endured and survived the bad emotion, and then what? It will come back if I don't solve the situation where it's coming from. No??