I get it, too. When Dr. T and I had the big rupture that led to me leaving briefly a few years ago, I had to pay not only for a couple sessions to deal with it, but also for some emails he sent that I found to be really hurtful. I understand his policy is to charge for emails of a certain length, but it felt like a slap in the face.

He recently said how if a client leaves on what seems to be bad terms, he will sometimes email them and offer them a session for free to come in and talk. And I didn't say it at the time, but all I could think was, "Oh, but you didn't reach out to me when I left, plus you charged me for everything." Now maybe this is a new policy, or he thought I was just completely done at that point, so he felt it would be pointless to ask me back--or he was sick of dealing with me and relieved that I had left (though he did take me right back when I asked).

Anyway, yes, I definitely get why it's difficult to have to pay for a rupture that was entirely or mostly their fault (or even half their fault--we could split the cost of the session). Plus to be the one to deal with all the emotions (though I imagine L was sad about it, too). So I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I hope you've been able to at least mostly resolve the rupture.