I see it a little bit differently (although I certainly getting feeling that it's unfair). To me, working through ruptures IS the work of therapy. I see all ruptures as co-created. There is their action (or inaction) and then there is our reaction to it. Or there is our action and their reaction. Regardless, it is something that exists between the two of us. And we are paying them to stay and work through it with us--we are paying for their time and presence in the relationship. And the way I experience rupture/repair is that there is the potential for growth, healing, insights, and empowerment in that process.

That said, sometimes our Ts do or say really dumb things, and it's frustrating. And I know not everyone sees therapy the way I do or even wants it to be that way. And the process I outlined above is kind of the "ideal," but it relies on a therapist who is self-reflective, self-aware, committed to the "do no harm" principle, and to willing to own their crap and their role in things. Which, quite honestly, is not every (or even a lot) of therapists. It feels particularly unfair to have to pay for a therapist to sit there and deflect blame.