Did she intentionally trigger you? Or were you triggered?

I see a difference there.

Intentionally pushing a button knowing it will trigger someone is just cruel.

I've rarely had a therapist "intentionally" trigger me. But boy, I sure could get triggered by things at times. Usually it was sort of out of nowhere, and part of therapy was figuring out why whatever was said or whatever happened set me off. Understanding my own triggers was just part of the work. All that work helped me reach a place where I am less likely to be that severely triggered anymore.

I am responsible for managing my own triggers.

That said, I had therapists who were able to help me go through that process AND who were also quite willing and able to acknowledge any part something they might have said had in that trigger. But they were ALSO learning in those instances because my therapists didn't deliberately set out to trigger as strong reaction; it just happened (which is sort of the nature of triggers), and they filed that information in their brains for future reference so as not to repeat that issue again. That's what I needed them to do.