@Sapien, I'm sad to read that you have used again. Am I mistaken, or didn't you say you had a good amount of time without, a while back? If so, I can say that "anniversaries" clean/sober can be triggers, though I don't know if it was for you.

It was one heck of a hard time for me to stop abusing alcohol. What ended up helping in the end was a decent amount of stability clocked and finally reaping the benefits of effective therapy. However, I know that it can be a Catch-22 of sorts. Instability causes relapses. Relapses cause instability. Triggers that are too strong cause both relapses and instability. Not quite ready (therapeutically) to fight the beasts well enough. But don't let these things discourage you. You can triumph. Sometimes you've got to just keep fighting and working at it. Relapses may become less frequent with time and lesser. Those improvements make stability easier. Then, you start to break the pattern. It's not too unlike the whole "kindling effect" with bipolar disorder and other conditions, like migraines or seizure disorders.