I hope I don't wake up with anxious thoughts! It happened last night and this morning. I hate when the first thing I think of when I open my eyes is anxiety-provoking thoughts! I hate this part of myself- the paranoia, the fear, the second guessing, the what-if's (I didn't, haven't, don't, can't etc) the dread! And to me at the time everything seems 120% true and possible and I hate these anxiety inducing thoughts! Last night, I decided to change my username on another platform so that people couldn't look up that handle and find out where I live . Then I thought I'd gotten an email from this platform which is fairly common that said my payment info was going to expire and to update it. Well I knew the card I had used expired today so I updated it on this platform's site. Then I freaked out. Then I changed my password and the site asked if I wanted it to pick a strong password for me so I said yes. I wrote it down and was able to log in with it. But then I started to wonder if the email I got from the site saying my payment info needed updating was a phishing attempt! Because I clicked the link from the email. But I think it took me to the site's main page. Then last night I thought I'd look at that email again but I couldn't find it!! Was there no email or what was going on? Anyway. Then I logged in on my laptop and in the payment info it does NOT list my credit card number thank God! But I worry that changing my password was part of a phishing attempt and someone is going to log in and delete my account with treasured favorite things- many of them there. I even changed my handle on the site because it had been my first and last name and I do mention a city on that site that isn't where I live but close by.

See why I wake up with all this swirling in my head?? I've looked over the site and it seems like my account is safe but how can I be totally completely sure?

Is this all my brain's fault and it's all imaginary?

W hey does this sort of thing keep happening to me?? Is it my screwed up brain doing this? God I think I'll go take some prn haldol.