Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn
There are things that your mind is always processing, constantly analyzing - Possible trauma.
Once you find the answers (That life is as real as it is unreal), they will likely go away BUT.. You need to stay on antipsychotics/antidepressants/Lamictal... + Taking benzos at the right time (Only you personally know when is the best time to take them - Which overrides the fear of dependency but also not too far to the opposite, causing dependency).
It goes as deep as your mind grasps into reality and different for everyone - Depending on which of your life experiences that you tend to think are good or bad + Internal values, identity, morals, fears.
My last dissociative episode was in October 2021, second last was in November 2021 the third last time was in February of 2021 (My last panic attack). 2020, I had ~40 dissociative panic attacks. They were good for me? Idk.. The olanzepine helped greatly. I tried stopping it around a week ago and I felt quite overwhelmed.
I still need the olanzepine.. It is the greatest med..
I don't know how my mom doesn't get dissociated and it would be really bad if she did. My dad I think, has constant depersonalization (Because I hear him in my head when I have depersonalization) - Some type of schizotypal PD thing when you have depersonalization but don't realize because it has been so long..
The best thing to do is to not think about it too much like I did. I'm on a DP/DR FB support group and I have a lot of empathy for those people..
What I do when I feel like my eyes are zig zagging, I breath in, and out once or twice (Importantly, I focus completely on those 1-2 breaths) like a mind trick... And then I forget about it.
It's very good to count the days since last panic attack - Whatever works for you. It gets better with time. A lot of people in their 20's get panic attacks and then they go away as they get older.
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Thanks Desoxyn, I appreciate your post

I hope I can get to the point where a year or longer goes by without a panic attack. I think I’m on the right combo of meds now where that can happen. I just need to keep taking them.
I always wonder if growing up with my mom as an alcoholic and dealing with the threat of eviction and ending up homeless multiple times as a kid from 8 years old onward messed with my brain. She also drank some while she was pregnant with me. Not great. I didn’t know that last part until recently when my sister was talking about how she was trying to get our mom to rehab when she was pregnant with me. (My sister is 20 years older than me). It kind of makes me mad to know that honestly.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type