@Motts

Yes, it's always a real case of introspection and almost a 'soul searching', for me, to try to understand why old patterns of behaviour (in myself) remain in spite of efforts to change, Motts.

So yes, I have areas in my own life that basically defy efforts at change as well, but in certain other areas, change has/is taking place. I can only put it down to growth. It's like plants: you put in the effort to understand their specific needs etc., and you do what's necessary to nurture their growth; but some plants are fast growers and some are slow growers, they reach maturity in their own time, and we don't have control over that part.

Maybe similar growth patterns happen within people as well, and people aren't all the same either just like plants aren't.

In terms of your behavioural changes, you might still be in a process of growth in specific areas. Maybe that's why the old reactions still take place sometimes Motts. So, perhaps it's still a case of just doing your best to approach the whole dynamic as best you can, which you obviously are, and let, I guess 'nature', take care of the growth?

I feel for you because you've taken an emotional and psychological blow, which is hard. Once the feelings about what happened have settled and mellowed, you'll feel freer in terms of tackling the social interactions with this person again. And when doing so, maybe just keep it in the back of your mind that there's a chance she'll eventually trigger you again, so just be a bit mentally prepared.🙏