I'm looking for support and compassionate replies to my plight in life and with my husband. This may be long, please bare with me.

Things had been pretty good between us over the last ten months since we got back together. We had separated over a year ago and were close to divorce due to his abuse towards me and fidelity issue on his part.

Before getting back together, he had promised me that he would do whatever it takes to keep the marriage together and to have me back in his arms, including individual and couples therapy.

Right now, individually we are facing enormous stress. He has a very stressful job, he lost his father within the last year, and his mother cries to him nearly every day about hating living with her daughter in-law.

I, myself, had to take an unpaid leave of absence from my new job due to mental health issues (ie, hearing voices). I am supposed to return to work next week, yet I do not know if I can actually handle the work itself, and it's very possible they could decide to let me go, after I've returned and IF I cannot perform.

My husband is very stressed about MY situation, about finances because I am not working and could be let go, about his mother, and about his own work.

Well, this morning it all came crashing down on us as a couple, and for the first time in months, I felt like I was back in a toxic dynamic with him all over again.

It started with him acting all stressed out after we had had a very nice and loving cuddling session in bed.

I commented that he seemed stressed, and he said, yes, you're very perceptive. I asked him why, since it's the weekend and he's NOT working, which should alleviate a LOT of his stress. He tells me he doesn't wish to talk about it, so I commented that he never wants to talk about it and how that's not healthy... all of which is true.

Well, that comment pushed him over the edge because he felt like I was forcing him to talk when he didn't want to. Suddenly, there was an outpour of all his stress, mainly financial, but then he tells me that I stress him out due to "all my problems".

I got really hurt by that comment, and the whole conversation downward spiraled from there.

He tells me that what I am going through is "not normal", and that I am not the same person he married. So, more hurtful comments from him towards me. I got even more hurt, and we began to argue back and forth, which went on for about an hour or so.

In the argument, he kept asking me if I wanted him to leave, and he kept commenting that it seemed like I didn't love him and that I wanted the marriage to end. I told him, no, it's the opposite - you're acting like YOU don't love ME, and as though YOU want the marriage to end, based on all your hurtful comments towards me. I felt he was projecting his feelings onto me. He even brought up possibly leaving and spending the night elsewhere for a couple nights. I told him, if you do that, then this is over.

That was this morning.

Fast forward to this afternoon, and we're hardly speaking. He is upstairs "not feeling well" and I am downstairs, all alone, writing on here.

He even said during this argument that we don't need couples therapy. I had suggested we stop arguing over it and talk about it when we see the therapist. So it seems he doesn't TRULY care to work on things in therapy together.

Rewind to over one year ago, and this is the dynamic of our marriage, but even worse, with yelling and screaming.

Again, it hasn't been this way since we got back together and all has been pretty much smooth sailing with no abuse and only. a few minor bumps that we quickly got over.

I feel seriously lost right now. I am even thinking that maybe I should leave him again, but I have no means to leave right now, and likely won't for a while to come. And I am not even sure that's what I truly want.

At the same time, I believe that once we get over this stressful period for both of us, that things will be far better. This is the first time in a very long time that I have felt this way.. it's the first time in a very long time that I have thought about leaving him again.

I don't know how to mend the fences between us right now. I am SO hurt by all he said, despite him apologizing for it all afterwards. It feels like there's a huge wall and gulf is between us now because we're not even speaking to each other, and he doesn't want to talk about it.

On top of this, I am still having symptoms, yet I have to go back to work to earn money again. I am seriously streeesssssed out.

Does anyone have any comforting words of support for me? Advice on how to mend the present wounds between us and advice on how to move forward?

I know he wants to just drop it and carry on as though nothing ever happened. That is not something i can easily do. What do I do????

EDITED TO SAY: I went upstairs to check on him, the conversation downward spiraled again, with him blaming me for our argument, and then he threatened to leave and never come back.

AND now we're both downstairs, not speaking to each other. We're sitting in silence watching TV.