Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
Thanks so much for your kind reply and for your wise advice.
We did run errands together today after all of this. I am still hurt and upset but at least we’re having some togetherness vs arguing and fighting. I don’t know how to get past his hurtful words even though he apologized. He said he’s hurt too, but I said nothing hurtful so it doesn’t make any sense.
Right now though I do feel like I’m walking on eggshells in an effort not to upset or trigger him. It hasn’t been that way for the last ten months. I don’t know how to feel right now.
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I want to say first, I don't intend to hurt you or judge you. I'm only getting your half of the conflict so I'm not picking a side or anything, I'm trying to be supportive and help you with perspective.
I think he has a right to feel hurt, even though you believe you said nothing hurtful. I don't think you said anything hurtful, but I wasn't the other person in the conversation. I also think you would be really offended if he thought your feelings were wrong or unwarranted. Be kind and let him identify his feelings as hurt. Be patient until he can better identify what hurt actually means to him. He may be walking on eggshells too, mixed with some fear and worry about your health and feelings, just like you. But he isn't you, so he has to deal with his stuff in the best way for him. It's OK to be different in how you process things. (My first thought though, when does anything a man does make sense? I think men often think that about women.)
I've had some success in taking smaller steps in healing from emotional trauma. It's not the easiest or fastest journey, but at least it's progress. I wish you the best.