Quote:
Originally Posted by Etcetera1
I really liked your whole post, very wise and spot on IMO.
I want to say, the part that I've quoted, I've regretted it before. Because I just got emotional abuse from the person, having spoilt that person by my being too kind and understanding with her. Going out of my way to be like that to her.
I don't think I would be able to do it with anyone anymore. I don't understand how it works for you. Does it help you or the ex in any way?
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I don't want to get off topic. As far as what I get from being kinder, more understanding, more gracious, etc, is the knowledge that I'm just a better person than my ex and everyone who witnesses me being kinder, more understanding, etc knows it too. My ex is abusive, hateful, cruel towards me even now 10 years after divorce. I have the mindset now that the opposite of love, hate, bitterness or any emotion is no emotion. Indifference means I control my actions and I choose to be a healthier, kinder person than he is. It ls like a shield that prevents his actions and words rom harming me. There's a bit of satisfaction in knowing it pushes his buttons that he can't harm me anymore too. But that's his reaction to his actions. Took me a long time to get here.