[QUOTE=Have Hope;7196239]

Hi Have Hope ……….I’ve edited your post to just comment on certain sentences that I feel , because of my own experience , are “ telling” .

“Things had been pretty good between us over the last ten months since we got back together. We had separated over a year ago and were close to divorce due to his abuse towards me and fidelity issue on his part.”

Right here your saying how things have been going well for awhile since you’ve “got back together “ . So your were separated and “close to a divorce “.due to his ”abuse towards you and infidelity “ So these are MAJOR issues right here that most likely have had a profound impact on your relationship that has yet to be worked out and communicated probably best in a therapeutic setting.

“Right now, individually we are facing enormous stress. He has a very stressful job, he lost his father within the last year, and his mother cries to him nearly every day about hating living with her daughter in-law. “

Here again we have MAJOR issues that need to be communicated in a therapeutic environment. Now I’ll say here that HIS issues should be worked on by himself.
YOUR issues should be worked on by yourself. And after some progress individually perhaps you’ll be ready to tackle the marriage issues. Only when you can talk to each other without playing the blame game and have honest conversation and open and calm communication would marriage counseling be helpful.

“I, myself, had to take an unpaid leave of absence from my new job due to mental health issues (ie, hearing voices). “

This sounds like a major mental health issue that needs to be addressed. You just need to take care of this FIRST and foremost and your husband may have great difficulty understanding what’s happening to you which can create an enormous frustration.

“My husband is very stressed about MY situation, about finances because I am not working and could be let go, about his mother, and about his own work. “

Again , issues that HE has to deal with.

“He tells me he doesn't wish to talk about it, so I commented that he never wants to talk about it and how that's not healthy... all of which is true. “

You are absolutely correct in stating that if he doesn’t communicate his feelings it will express itself in unhealthy ways not only for him but for the marriage.

“Well, that comment pushed him over the edge because he felt like I was forcing him to talk when he didn't want to. Suddenly, there was an outpour of all his stress, mainly financial, but then he tells me that I stress him out due to "all my problems".”

He is holding in all his true feelings and concerns. This can all be expressed in a neutral environment where he can feel comfortable in “letting it all out”.

“I got really hurt by that comment, and the whole conversation downward spiraled from there”.

Of course you got hurt by that comment and he says “ all your problems “ because he probably doesn’t understand what your going thru or how to fix it.

“He tells me that what I am going through is "not normal", and that I am not the same person he married. So, more hurtful comments from him towards me. I got even more hurt, and we began to argue back and forth, which went on for about an hour or so. “

His inability to understand what your going thru leads him to making hurtful comments which in turn immediately shut down any possibility of non-hurtful communication. Which leads to an hour of needless, worthless, argument.

“Again, it hasn't been this way since we got back together and all has been pretty much smooth sailing with no abuse and only. a few minor bumps that we quickly got over. “

Sure , things seem fine until all those old issues rear their ugly heads again.
You can get over the minor bumps but big potholes are lying ahead.

“ This is the first time in a very long time that I have felt this way.. it's the first time in a very long time that I have thought about leaving him again. “

Very long time ? This talk about leaving each other , isn’t only because you don’t understand each other ? Because you can’t talk to each other ? Now I know sometimes there are things that just “can’t be fixed”. Relationships doomed for failure. But are you sure you’ve tried everything possible ? Perhaps deep down you or he doesn’t really want to fix it. Honestly and truthfulness MUST be expressed .
Trustworthiness must be restored.

“On top of this, I am still having symptoms, yet I have to go back to work to earn money again. “

If your having “symptoms “ they must be addressed before you can go back to work or go back to anything !

“I know he wants to just drop it and carry on as though nothing ever happened. That is not something i can easily do. What do I do????”

This is what most people , who can’t or don’t want to talk about their issues say to
shut down the conversation. If you can’t do that then you have to let him know.
If you can do that , just to keep the peace then do it BUT insist that YOU come first ,
marriage comes second.

“EDITED TO SAY: I went upstairs to check on him, the conversation downward spiraled again, with him blaming me for our argument, and then he threatened to leave and never come back. /QUOTE]”

Of course the threats again. Obviously you can’t have any kind of a logical conversation with anyone who can only speak thru the emotional side of their brain. My final piece of advice to you based on personal experience , learn ,through whatever means , to strengthen yourself to the point where you can deal with life and whatever it throws at you , BY YOURSELF . If your relationship can work out , fine. If your relationship doesn’t work out , fine.
Best of luck to you..