Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
I don't want to be unsupportive Have Hope and I can see how much he has hurt you. Again. But I think that sometimes, one has to move on. I have been refraining from posting because you clearly want to make things work and you say things have been good for the last 10 months.
To avoid any repeats in the future, I would be very clear re expectations and respect (boundaries). It is *not* okay for him to make you feel so... inferior, inadequate or unlovable and to 'attack' you at your weakest. It doesn't matter what his stress levels are, this is non-negotiable (or ought to be). This is life - we get stressed, we get sick, we struggle BUT you don't treat your partner this way. So, what is HE going to do about it.
I would be very clear about how he intends to change his behaviour and I would not put up with it again. You have given him so many chances. And life is so unpredictable, crap happens. So what? Is this how he will react when things gets tough? Honeymoon period over because he is feeling stress? Not acceptable.
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Oh Riv, I know..... You've always been supportive yet also very honest and forthcoming about the unhealthy dynamic between us, and about my own well-being. I've always appreciated your posts and replies.
IF I can get him to go to couples therapy either this week or next, I will definitely express that his comments and treatment of me were unacceptable. I would like to put my foot down, yet again, but since I am feeling more weakened right now generally speaking, I need to muster up the strength and courage to do so.
And yes, I hear you loud and clear about moving on. I know I have given him many chances. Since I did see massive changes and improvements in his behavior over the last ten months, I am hoping we can return to that place again. But it may be too difficult to return to that and he may be too far gone again due to all the recent stress. I just don't know.
Maybe I'm being foolish. Maybe I'm being a hopeless romantic. However, at the same time, I do have the desire to leave him again, as mentioned above a few times. I just don't know what will happen at this juncture. Things could improve, or they could worsen. I just pray that I can keep my job since we really do not need any more additional stress, which will put both of us over the edge and which will make things between us unbearable. I cannot go through something like that again with him. I do not have the strength this go around.