Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I’d demand he makes serious adjustments to his spendings in order for you take longer leave or eventually take lower paid jobs or work part time. It’s supposed to be in sickness and health.
I’d not tolerate my spouse being lazy or not following proper treatment ( by licensed MDs). But I’d not force him to hurry up back to work in this condition. Well my husband wouldn’t be able to work his job hearing voices anyways. But that’s besides the point
. “Contributing household member” doesn’t mean sick people must hurry up to work when sick. There are other ways to contribute.
What if you were physically seriously unwell or needed surgery? Would you have to hurry up back to work?
Now no one can be expected to be loving at all times or never have an argument. But it seems that this marriage falls apart every time something goes wrong. But things go wrong all the time. Everyone has work and life stress and have family members sick and dying or getting in trouble. He is unprepared for life then if he expects things to go smoothly at all times. One can wish for the kind of life. I don’t know anyone who has no stress or family and health problems.
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He's not forcing me back to work - in fact, he said take another week. It's coming from ME that I want to return to work in order to earn money and to be able to afford my expenses.
My husband spent money moving back in. He paid the movers by himself and I didn't help with that. The deposit money from last year is long gone. I do not have control over my husband's spending or finances. This is why we have separate accounts and entirely separate finances. I have attempted at least 100 times to help him to save more and to spend less. He doesn't listen, so it's out of my hands. I am the frugal one, he is not. That's just the way it is. I will say that he has improved in this area by quite a bit since he looks for coupons, and I do not, in fact.
And yes, things erupt under great stress. I worry about the future for that reason. I mean, both my parents have COVID right now. My father is over 80 years old with a lung disease, so he is very vulnerable. With COVID, who knows what could have happened with his health. THANK GOODNESS he is actually Ok and is on the mend.... but WHAT IF his health had taken a serious downturn? Even worse, what if he had died because of COVID?!? How would my husband have behaved then?
One thing that encourages me is that when I was hospitalized last year, my husband was there for me through thick and thin. He called me every single day, and sometimes multiple times, and he supported me through the entire ordeal. And, this go around when my health went downhill again, he has been very supportive, doing anything and everything that may help. All was stable until yesterday.
And now, I am thrown right back into feeling uncertain.