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in order to keep the peace between us, I have to avoid conversation about stressful matters. I feel I am right back in an unhealthy dynamic again, and it's making me beyond uncomfortable. My entire soul is screaming out to me that this is NOT OK and is unacceptable.
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Please, listen to this inner guidance. Communication is vital - he keeps shutting the door to any communication and going back on his word to do anything and everything to make it work. Were these just words or did he mean it? If so, he has to show up and follow through.
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IF I can keep my job, the stress will die down considerably.
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I hope your boss can accommodate.. But the concern is: what if something else happens down the line - to either you or him - will he go through the roof again? He needs to work on his communication skills (i.e. drop the abusive behaviour and language directed at you) and stress management.
He really needs to commit to you through thick and thin, through actions rather than mere words AND be willing to work on it with you, despite whatever bomb life drops...
I hear you that it is not easy as you are already having a hard time and it takes energy to keep fighting the same ol' battle. Plus, feelings are involved and logistics - it it not easy. I would encourage you to be strong, and firm. Don't give up! Never give up on you..