I know I say "I am sorry often" but I don't think it's playing the victim to gain sympathy.

If it's someone close, it's more because I ticked off people by my unintentional mistakes and l don't want to get into their poor gracious especially when I felt bad and it wasn't in my control.....and they often want an apology.

Then if it's work and with coworkers, I often say sorry because I didn't mean for it to happen. But I can understand saying sorry excessively can reflect on me poorly if it's a minor mistake. I try to reduce it and only say it once or not much it it's really minor.

If it's a customer, I often do say sorry even if its not my fault and more often it has nothing to do with me. E.g. "Sorry, the store policy has changed and we no longer allow you to buy gift cards with the store gift cards". I only do it to calm the person down because I they are shocked and upset when they say "Since when?" 😡 It is a way of sympathizing with them. Because often times, the customer takes their rage on me as if I am responsible for all the rules made, etc. I often have to come treat customers as though they are the children and gently tell them things to calm them down.

If it's an acquaintance, I still often say sorry when they get upset and it wasn't my fault either. I think my jobs and family life gets pushed into everything else in my life.

Even in support groups, I feel really insulted and mistreated but I end up being the bigger person and deciding to let it go because there is no point to argue it or defend myself from judgemental statements from strangers. Often I will let it go, if it's a young person because I find that I can't win anyways. And I shouldn't have shared it in the first place with an immature person in it anyways who thinks they know everything.

Often times, I just don't know when to put myself first and stop being a martyr...

It's difficult to defend myself because I don't want to get too angry that it sounds rude.

I know the world is unfair. I live in it.