sorry to hear this nyctophile, this reminds me of myself, and probably many more here on this forum i would think...

we also can be our own worst enemies, so self critical when we do not value ourselfs, without knowing you though, I would bet that you have so much of you thats great and good, and possess so much kindness to give, if only you weren't so low, in and about yourself ..

But ,here's the start!,, - a safe place to share, and a really warm welcome from me!

keep sharing in PC if you can , i hope my welcome here will help your day a bit, for it is helping me,,,,

see,,,you have done a great thing already, making me smile!

best wishes

alevin