Dear T,
I'm sure you realize this sadness isn't just about you going away, right? I mean, obviously, it's part of it. I'm feeling this annoying sense of abandonment, even though I know it's not even a full week. And because I get the sense it's a family trip, so I'd feel bad about bothering you. But I hope you realize it's partly that I have all this other stuff on my mind and I'm down here at the condo alone, so it's had more time to gnaw at me. D, Covid, everything.

And I wonder, too, if it's partly that I was feel particularly connected to you talking about the oven stuff and your telling the story of your wedding cake. So maybe it felt more jarring to then hear you'd be away.

I am glad I scheduled 3 times this week and that I'll see you tomorrow, too, even with it being virtual. Last night, I had started thinking maybe I should have just done once while I'm away (especially as we'll end up with 2 days in a row), then the usual on Friday. But I think this was the right decision.

I need to figure out what to do with myself tonight. Why does it have to be so cold? I mean, we had a couple 70-degree days in February, FFS. Now it's spring, and it's a high of 50? I'm glad you said you'd be whining, too, in this situation. I do think a big part of it was that I waited so long to come back down here (not by choice), so it feels like more pressure to make it meaningful or something.

Also, I think you're right about going to the concert. Maybe if I just make a decision to go to that (barring something really drastic), along with the two after that, then it will give me something to look forward to? But I think I'm scared to look forward to anything right now.... Why can't life just go back to normal? It's been over 2 years.... yes, I know for most people it has, but I wish I could be that way....

Love,
LT