My sister emailed me a bit ago asking if a certain time for Easter dinner would be fine. In that case, it was perfect since we plan to visit a friend in the morning for a brunch party. Then she asked if we might celebrate our dad's 80th birthday two days after his actual birthday and just take an ice cream cake to the assisted living facility on the actual day. The reason she gave was that he would be getting multiple teeth extracted the day before his birthday, an appointment I knew nothing about. Before responding, my initial reaction was to simply agree to anything, but then other thoughts went through my mind. First was that I did NOT want to be bringing a birthday cake to his stupid assisted living facility, because I hate that place. Second was that such a change in the main celebration date would eliminate possible days for other visits and a trip we want to take with him to the shore (and seafood restaurant), whose date would be weather dependent. Third thought was that Dad could possibly be miserable and incapable to enjoy all foods during the majority of my visit because of the teeth. This last thought was the icing on the cake. Sis did write that she could possibly change the dental appointment date, and Dad would likely be happy for a delay, but that it would be problematic for a denture fitting. Just to think that the first time I see him (for just a week), properly, in the last 1 1/2 years that he might be miserable because of tooth extractions!

I re-read my response to my sister and I think it was mostly neutral in tone, but I did mention the above concerns. I also wrote that that one week might be the most I see our father for well over a year afterwards. I left it to her. I even wrote that if my idea of going to the shore with Dad seemed unreasonable, given his condition, to give me a reality check. Truth is, I'm not sure how much he can and can't do, or would want to do.