I was feeling very good when I got home (And all day). I wanted to drink a double shot of rum (Like I do every day once, after work to relax).. I decided to drink chamomile tea instead..

Then I felt overwhelmed so I smoked Indica weed. Then I felt mental pain so I took a bit of phenibut. I then decided also to take 0.375mg of alprazolam/xanax - I fell asleep early and woke up for work, feeling mentally foggy etc.

I mean, I know taking these things are not good.. But it was working for me before I decided to 'do the right thing'.

I have to trust my own instinct because it worked for me so far - I know I do really bad and complain but I've never been so productive etc with self improvement, updating my knowledge of the world, reading books etc + Feeling better, mentally..