Quote:
Originally Posted by Etcetera1
I apologise for posting another post, but this thread is like...wow. I really had a lot to say. So I wanted to ask, what do you mean by people not being allowed to have all their feelings?
What about people who just simply don't care to have so many feelings all the time? Comfortable with being detached and dismissing most feelings right away. But then this bites them in the arse eventually : p so they have to focus a bit more on them....That's been me
So I'm just asking have you ever seen any difference between individual people with regard to this? I just always had the sense that this doesn't fit me, the idea of not having been allowed to have all my feelings
Like something really doesn't fit about it and by now I've learned to listen to that sense, that shows me that the concept or idea or statement from standard psychology doesn't entirely fit me. I've learned that trying to ignore that sense would end up with me or a therapist trying to fit the square peg into the round hole
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I mean, IDK, how/if this applies to you or your situation Etcetera. Maybe it doesn’t.
What I was saying to Pixie is that not everyone has the capacity to do the (amazing) work that Artley described at every session. And that sometimes one just needs validation particularly if one has never been allowed to have one’s feelings.
Not being allowed feelings often sounds like using words like “annoyed” to mean “furious,” or working overtime to understand the other person’s point of view (and not feeling entitled to one’s own). For people socialized as male it more often looks like not being able to express things like sadness or vulnerability.
When you’re in that kind of space sometimes you just need the session to get to the feeling itself. Or have the novel experience of someone just believing you and not arguing with your emotional world.