I'm so sorry bethrags.

I'm so tired, and closed down. T wants me to walk with one of my boys everyday. She wants me to reach out to my former friends. I didn't tell her I ruined their lives. That if I was honest they would hate me. I try to be agreeable but it's hard. She wants me to start coloring again. She says I have to do things to get out of this depression, that meds are number 1 but I have to change things up. I didn't tell her about the sh thoughts because I don't know how to breach the topic. I did tell her when things are bad we put the sharps and pills up. But I gave today a 6. I need to go over with her what her scale is because my scale is a bit 'dramatic'. She said I was flat today. This is me trying a lot.