I'm having a hard time staying out of bed . . . a very hard time.

Staying in bed a lot is common among depressives. This has happened to me frequently over the years . . . but not like this . . . not to this extent.

I get up to eat when I'm hungry. I make a meal, but I don't clean up the kitchen afterwards. When I run out of clean dishes, I wash them. When the stove is covered with dirty pots and skillets from a few meals, I clean it off and scrub the cookware.

Except to go to the grocery store to buy food, I don't leave my apartment. I watch TV a lot. I cruise the Net. I read magazines.

I think of talking to my healthcare provider, but I say, "What's the use?"

I'm sore with aches and pains. I get short of breath when I exert myself the least bit. I feel very deconditioned by inactivity.

I'm afraid I'm going downhill and can't stop.

Oddly, I don't feel sad.