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Originally Posted by pixiedust72
Yes, that’s exactly where I am. I just want to be believed and I feel like I’m fighting to defend my point of view when we reframe. I would enjoy a whole session of just validating my emotions tbh.
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OK, yeah, if I were you I would tell the therapist exactly this. It sounds like they are not able to get where you're coming from and that is a big problem in therapy, it will get in the way. If this therapist just isn't able to do this, another one might be able to.
Reframing shouldn't be about using the therapist's suggestions for that, it's just ideas, but only you can decide what fits your situation best. And it can't just be ungrounded reframing, it has to be actually matching reality and has to be to your benefit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
I mean, IDK, how/if this applies to you or your situation Etcetera. Maybe it doesn’t.
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I mean, IDK how you think you can tell what may or may not apply to MY situation. You can ask about it if you are genuinely curious without first guessing that maybe it doesn't........ But to respond to you on this, it does very much apply to my situation or I wouldn't have posted in here. Please do not question my situation, ironically that's exactly the topic here.
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What I was saying to Pixie is that not everyone has the capacity to do the (amazing) work that Artley described at every session. And that sometimes one just needs validation particularly if one has never been allowed to have one’s feelings.
Not being allowed feelings often sounds like using words like “annoyed” to mean “furious,” or working overtime to understand the other person’s point of view (and not feeling entitled to one’s own). For people socialized as male it more often looks like not being able to express things like sadness or vulnerability.
When you’re in that kind of space sometimes you just need the session to get to the feeling itself. Or have the novel experience of someone just believing you and not arguing with your emotional world.
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And that's exactly what I was asking about. It makes a load of sense. No wonder I wanted to post in this thread. I highly relate. In part it is that I do not care to be emotional all the time, but in part exactly this!!