@indigo1015 thank you. It’s difficult to not see it as a failure, I keep losing, I keep caving. I just feel horrid about it. When I’d done so well the day before, to then not even be able to last 5 mins without. It makes me feel sick. It’s not even that I’m necessarily getting triggered, while yeah there have been some, but it’s mostly to stop my feelings that are buried inside from coming out. I just can’t handle them. They’re big and explosive. I feel like I’ll literally burst if I let them out. I’m not in the right place to be able to deal with that. I do have some support. It’s just not in the way that I think I may need right now, but don’t know how I go about getting what I need. It’s just rubbish right now.

@Fuzzybear thank you for your lovely hugs. Sending some right back