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Here it is, 3:15 a.m. I was so overheated, I took a shower with some nice soap, then some nice lotion and went straight to bed (didn't take anything for sleep)...bed, where I didn't sleep. My mind was racing, jumping from one thought/conversation/image to another. Yesterday I rearranged my room and I was lying in bed trying to decide whether to move my dresser or not. It was hours, then I began thinking about my appt. on Monday with the new med provider, which got me to thinking about that miserable pdoc I've just fired. I realized that the main issue I had with her was that she absolutely invalidated the terrible anxiety I experience. It was as though she didn't believe me. It reminded me of trying to tell my mother about my stepfather's abuse, and my mother being dismissive - not believing me.
Then I got such a bad stomachache that my chest and shoulders were hurting, and my back. I hoped I wasn't having a heart attack, because there is no one in the world to take care of Sidney (or my other cats). So I got out of bed. It's so warm in here that I drank a quart of water. Then I shopped for and ordered a jar of hemp oil body butter (honeysuckle). My stomach is feeling much improved. I need a tremendous amount of water when it's warm like it is.
So here I am. I have to sleep at some point, because I'll be up at 6:15 to test Sid's glucose, feed everybody, and give Sid her insulin shot. I think then I'll take a little bit of Seroquel and hopefully sleep for some hours.
Anyway, I have the windows open, the night air feels cool and wonderful.
I hope each of you have a beautiful morning. I'll see ya later on.
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