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eskielover · Apr 09, 2022, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Etcetera1

Did you eventually define what the unbalanced feeling was about?

I understand you trusted your gut feeling and then maybe you figured it out only later what it was about, when you were in a more calm, quiet space....? If you did figure it out, if you saw clearly as to what specifically caused it, I'd be interested. I am interested in general about this kind of stuff - feelings like this in relationships - is why I am asking, as I naturally learn best through examples. Thanks much if you can say more on it.

Yes, I figured it out. It was his subtle way of trying to manipulate information, constantly put me on guard instead of feeling OK about messaging with him. Also we had different values. He came across as tolerating them but in reality would throw in subtle put downs for the way I think.

I had initially been willing to connect via messenger because most of that past when I knew him was a black hole in my memory. Turned out that interfacing with him at this point was just subtle conflict masked with niceness. I finally had enough after communicating for awhile & blocked him. Sometimes "subtle" stuff takes a little while to become "obvious". In my past I would just let it go (bad at enforcing the boundaries I had). Not I just stop it & leave people who are like that