i dont want to get yelled and screamed at by those in charge and hit round the head for being stupid

i honestly and truly cannot cope with getting yelled at, brings back traumatic memories

if someone gets into a troubles on this forum, how can they get out of the troubles

sorry please forgive me i stupid i know i am

i remember minding my own business upstairs in my bedroom i was maybe 9 or 10 at the time and he came storming upstairs and into the doorway of my bedroom and even though i wasnt doing anything i was sat reading a book he started to really yell at me, to this day i have no idea what my offence was i couldnt understand what he was saying

another time i had made myself some porridge i was maybe about 11 maybe 12 by then and cause i got the measurements of the porridge and the milk etc wrong he hit me pretty bad round the back of my head, idk if my learning difficulties were made worse by him doing that

i know i'm a bad person and dont deserve to be treated nice by anyone

i know getting those measurements wrong was a bad thing to do, at the time we didnt know i'm a number dyslexia

i'm messed up and too much of a stupid idiot willowtigger stupid