It's more than insecurity. Your mum is absolutely right.

Not only is he needy but he is manipulating and controlling you. Because you are together then what, you are not supposed to be in any male company at all. Should you live in a cage because of his trust issues and insecurity? This is a major red flag.

Someone with a 'heart of gold' would never emotionally blackmail their partner with such ridiculous 'deal breakers. He is playing you.

Leave. He will only make your life miserable if you don't do *everything* he wants.

I wonder if he has even ever been in a relationship? For a 42 year old, his take on relationships is scary. So yes, run