Your mother sounds emotionally intelligent and very aware. Your "partner" sounds immature, insecure, manipulative, controlling and jealous. Run now.
Settling for this partner will hurt you much longer and in a much different way than a breakup. Settling means more emotional blackmail and manipulation to keep you in line. Settling means denying yourself a healthy relationship based on mutual respect, trust and shared values.
I wish you the best. This partner is not worth your time and energy.