When I've found myself in situations like that, the problem has usually been that we weren't on the same page, or on the same wavelength, or (figuratively) speaking the same language. The other person seemed to be reacting and communicating to someone whom I didn't recognize as me, and they seemed not to recognize the person I was responding to and addressing as themselves.

In one situation in particular, I might start to tell the other person something like, "Here's what I hear you saying...". They'd come back with something apparently unrelated like, "STOP ANALYZING ME!" Apparently they were experiencing "analyzing" (whatever that meant to them) where I wasn't aware of intending any such thing. They could no doubt have presented a very good case that I was unwilling or unable to recognize analyzing when I saw it (or did it myself). I could have presented an equally good case that they were determined to see analyzing and blame it for uncomfortable situations whether it was really there or not.

Normally I would have wanted to resolve our impasse by seeing if we could agree on where to draw the line between what we would and what we wouldn't call "analyzing". Unfortunately, the other person was prepared to dismiss any such discussion as just more "analyzing". Later I came to think of such conversations as "talking past each other" or "looking for each other on different floors of the same building".