Hello Ladies!
This is my first post as i have recently had some large roadblocks with relationships in my life that are giving me a very heavy heart. Thought it would feel good to not only put my issues down, but also seek advice!
I am a 28 year old woman in WI with a Husband of 2 years and a cute pup
For the past, maybe 3 or 4 years, i have had issues with other women and them accepting me. While I am not one to 'people please' and need someone elses attention and approval, it has affected my husband & I's relationships with friends and some family.
I would say about 80% of my husbands friends wives/girlfriends do NOT like me. Go back 6-7 years when my husband and I were first dating, we allll got along. But now they have developed a clique with I as the reject. Being mostly raised by my father, i have always been able to relate to men and get along with them better, but always make a conscious effort to make friends with women.
Now im not sure if my more male based hobbies affect this? Like hunting, fishing, wrenching on things ect.
These other women, i don't hate them. I don't even dislike them (outside of the things they have done to me). I have been accused of stealing, talked about horribly behind my back (A LOT), Shunned, dirty looks, not invited to activites and outings, accused of liking my husbands friends, been made fun of because of my looks or the way i dress ect . Just a LOT of nasty gestures that have made me feel awful about myself, question what I am doing wrong to deserve this & even sometimes guilt for even being around. It has greatly affected my husband as well. The friends he has had since kindergarten barely talk to him due to their significant others influence or are not allowed to see us very often. It hurts my heart!!! Recently we all went to a concert. 2 of the girls would not even acknowledge my presence the entire time, and a 3rd was talking about me before i showed up saying "i wonder what kind of weird outfit shes going to be wearing". Let me tell you, that hurts as someone who did nothing to deserve this. Or another time i literally took the girl who is the most mean to me and pulled her to the side at an event and apologized for whatever I did and that i just want to get along ( I even bought her a shot to take with me). She told me to my face "i never disliked you, ive been neutral" but then proceeded to laugh about my apology with mutual friend after and make fun of the fact that i made myself vulnerable.

When talking with our mutual friends about these women, i make sure not to talk down about any of them as I know how it feels to be talked about behind my back. So i know its not that, unless someone is spreading rumors, which is a large possibility.
I try to make small talk with them a to show them i am not a threat. I am nice as possible when they are around (kill them with kindness). I may have been a little rude in the past, but it was never without reason. A girl has to defend and stand up for herself sometimes right?!
So at this point, is it me? Is it them? Am i viewed a threat and how do i show them I am not? Am i overthinking this? Do i just leave it and ignore them and try to coexist.
I would LOVE for everyone to get along, but I don't know what to do. Women in cliques are very intimidating to me at this point, maybe some PTSD has snowballed after 3 years of this.
What would you do? How would you react?