Hi. I have been where you are and it is AWFUL!!! I remember bingeing and swearing that I never would again, but the next day I was...over and over. I finally learned that I had a disease and coulnd't stop on my willpower. Just like a person with cancer can't by willpower make cancer cells stop multiplying. I was beaten, bottomed out, hopeless, a mess and realized finally that there was nothing I could do about it on my own. Thank God that I found a program that helped me tap into the power to do what I could not do on my own. There IS a solution. I found it in the 12 steps pioneered by AA. Let me know if you want more info, I have been in recovery without obsessing about food for years now. God Bless.