Hey! Yeah, so an update: with the seasons changing, each of us went through a time where we got sick and it postponed any serious talk, and then 4 days ago we officially just talked for an afternoon. There is a lot to share but the jist of it is kind of bleh. She reiterates that she doesn't even want me to touch her, have sex, be intimate or cant stand the thought of it either. As I suspected, she voiced that I was a narcissist and stated that even though tests didn't truly make me out as one, i knew how to answer the questions to make it seem like i'm not. Felt like she is really picking at straws.

I told her I take account for 85% of the problems that lead us to her wanting a divorce, and I feel as though our biggest issues are communication, trust (using our past against one another), and EGOs are what is causing so much conflict over the last year or so.... on top of moving to a new location, dealing with new seasons, COVID, new parents, etc... a laundry list of things that we had to face and could have done better. Now is our opportunity to improve ourselves and go to counseling and use everything to make this better, for our relationship and for our daughter to be in a stable home. She stated that me saying EGOs is a sorry excuse, and is still leaning towards divorce regardless of everything I've said. (I told her I've been speaking to a counselor that I have in work, also scheduled professional counseling in a few months, support forums, and lots of informative videos about bettering ones choices/feelings).

She told me she was already processing the divorce papers (uncontested divorce), I assumed the uncontested part but told her that if shes already doing that, she may want to reconsider because as of now I'm leaning toward contested divorce. (My heart is going to probably let my daughter go with her mom, as she is a wonderful mom and a lot of research states that it's best, however I'm still holding on).

I brought up the counseling again and she said that she would possibly be okay with marriage counseling if it helps us co-parent, and I said I wanted counseling to help our marriage. We nodded our heads to the idea of us going into counseling together, her with the posibility of us improving our marriage... and I with the idea of us seperating and co-parenting that way we both attend counseling and try to be open to it. <---- this paragrapgh however wasn't confirmed, we just spoke on it and she said she would take some time to decide if she wants to cancel her divorce papers that are currently processing.

I'm currently trying to get counseling scheduled for us but we've been hit by a huge snow storm so the local agencies aren't in office at the moment.

I apprecaite the response, I know no matter what, I'll make it through this... sort of just favoring the outcome I want to happen of course. As of now, if I do lose my daughter, I know I'll have to make it a point to video chat everyday until I can see her in person which may not be super often seeing as she would be out of state... but all I can do is keep my chin up and be the best parent/role model for her. Thank you for the kind words.


I only quoted the end, but more so for you directly... I have appreciated all of your words and for the most part agree with everything you've said. I certainly believe my wife and I can grow together and get past this point, if shes willing to put in the work and make some adjustments. I have done as much and just wish she could give me that opportunity, and I'm sort of using counseling as that session in which it may help her realize how ridiculous she is being OR help me realize that this just isn't really worth all of this hassle and to chalk it up as a loss (which infuriates me thinking about my daughter going into that scenario). Nonetheless, I'm content with where things are right now, just hoping for the best and making the best of any outcome.